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Golf Equals Groaning, Yelling, Sniveling, Cursing, Obsession, Euphoria
By Robert McNesby

Why would anyone want to subject themselves to the game of golf? I mean, unless you have the temperment of Ghandi why bother? From the outset you have to call on your body to do unnatural things. In baseball, you are a swinging entity, moving toward an obital sphere. In football you become an irrisistable force hurtling toward an immovable object. In basketball you are a leaping balletic gazelle, who has been given a ball to bounce. Golf? You are a stationary figure hovering over a stationary object.

Still, every day, people by the score subject themselves to join the masses. What is the reason? Maybe they see golf on television and marvel at the beauty of the surroundings. Perhaps, a wife sees a way for revenge and announces she will be joining hubby on weekends. Possibly, seeing cute little Tiger Woods at age five and announcing, "Ooooh! that looks so fun and easy." Whatever the reason, people take the plunge. You'd think when they find out how hard golf is they'd quit. The problem is, most people think, "hey, I can't be this bad." YES, YOU CAN!!!

You could entertain yourself for a day on the driving range, not participating, watching. Seeing some new soul step upto a golf ball for the first time is better then the circus. They always wind up like Mighty Casey at the bat, and miss the ball completely. The expression when they follow it's non-flight is priceless, only to discover the ball still sitting on the tee. The next move is to bend their body closer to the ground. This way they figure if they can get closer to the ball they'll hit it. The result, another whiff. And so it goes, and the games popularity just keeps growing.

Years ago, seeing a woman on a golf course, would today, be as rare as seeing Paris Hilton in a convent. Nowadays, that female who joined your group is liabel to outdrive you by twenty yards. Golf has become a sport everyone can unenjoy (just kidding). Look at the youth golf groups springing up all over the country. What used to be a pastime for the wealthy is now enjoyed by anyone interested in the game.

If you do decide golf is a game you want to pursue, here are a few tips that may help:

• The first time you pick up a club, keep in mind everything begins with the grip whether you start with the overlapping (large hands) interlocking (small to medium hands) or baseball (it's the easiest), be sure to place your hands correctly on the shaft.
  
  
• Take the hands/arms back slowly, followed by the shoulders, then hips, all in a one piece rythmic turn. Do not let the body sway. The more sway, the more you will be off target at impact.
  
  
• Everyone's heard this. Keep your head down, eye on the ball. Watch the pros. Coming through the downswing, you will notice their head is still down, even after the club has passed through the ball toward the target. The right shoulder is what should bring the head up. Keeping the head down as close to the moment of impact as possible will insure a high finish.
  
  
• Do not try to overswing. Most of your power comes from your hips on the downswing. This generates clubhead speed which is what propels the golf ball. That is the reason you will often see a smaller man outdrive a bigger one. You must develop a rythem, so your swing is as smooth coming down as it is going back.
  
  
• If you find you are slicing the ball, chances are you're swinging outside-in or across your body. Pick out an object on the driving range that is somewhat to the right (experiment) of your target. Swing your club toward that object and watch your shots straighten out. Reverse this procedure for a hook.

Try to watch golf on television regularly. By really observing and than imitating the players movements you can actually develop a good swing. At the very least, you will notice their bodies are not wiggling all over the fairway.

Probably, the best golf advice is to either purchase a good lessons program or hire a teacher and get personal instructions. The latter can get expensive. The good news, you will save time and heartache by not having to unlearn all the bad habits you've developed. The first time you hit that true golf shot, fagetaboudit, you'll be hooked. Good luck and hit em straight.

Formerly employed with Arnold Palmer Enterprises as Advertising Manager and Copywriter (Putting Course and Driving Range Division)

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